You can also turn to AA’s Big Book and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (the 12 & 12) for guidance specific to Step 8. In the early years, Hamas was widely embraced by Palestinians as the group most willing to resist Israel, and it was seen by some as less https://ecosoberhouse.com/ corrupt and better organized than the Palestinian Authority. But dissatisfaction has risen as Palestinians’ lives have worsened amid conflict and years of Israeli and Egyptian blockade, and some feel the group’s attacks have damaged Palestinians as well.
While we might apologize later for missing the party, our apology consists of words rather than actions or changed behavior. And those words ring hollow when we repeatedly break our promises. It’s really hard to apologize to those you’ve hurt — it takes courage and humility what is a living amends and requires a deep, intense look at yourself. Thankfully, there are tips you can take to help make your living amends permanent and lasting. If you’re new to recovery and you’ve never made amends with loved ones before, you might be nervous or uncomfortable.
As you work through the 12-Step Program, you’ll likely hear peers or sponsors refer to “living amends,” which is different than making direct or indirect amends. Instead, the term living amends means changing your behavior and the way that you live daily. Sometimes, trying to make things right can cause others distress. There are cases in which reaching out to someone, even to apologize and let them know you’ve changed, can cause pain.
In some cases, making amends may mean paying or promising to pay “whatever obligations, financial or otherwise, we owe,” the Big Book also states. Of all the 12 steps, Step 9 is often referred to as particularly challenging. Understanding why will require taking a closer look at what Step 9 is, its goals, and its possible outcomes.
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Understanding some making amends examples can help the individual correct past behaviors. Along with reinforcing new behaviors and outlooks, making amends can also reduce stress. Many who lived with addiction have past behaviors they’re not proud of. By proactively correcting previous mistakes, those in recovery may be able to prevent future conflicts that could trigger a relapse. But, as difficult as it is, completing this step can provide an immense sense of relief and newfound hope for the future.
- If you’re familiar with substance use recovery and 12-step programs, the idea of “living amends” might ring a bell.
- Therefore, it is crucial to acknowledge how your actions and behaviors impacted those around you.
- He or she will have helpful advice and wisdom that may help you make the right decision on how to proceed.
- The unfortunate truth is that we’re all human and we all fall short sometimes.
It can be a challenging list to write, even for those who want to embrace forgiveness and inner peace—but the list is important. By working through the list in Step 9 and making amends to each person named there, you will restore a piece of yourself with each conversation. Talk with your sponsor or others in your recovery community about what has worked for them. If your actions match your intentions and you reach out in person, you are doing the next right thing to right past wrongs.